Ode to Nathan

He was waiting for me when I got back from my holiday in Hokkaido. He was so quiet I didn't even notice him until the evening when I went to take a shower. I took my glasses off and stepped in, I don't even bother turning on the light because hell, I can't see a damned thing! I still wouldn't have noticed him until he quickly moved in the darkness, clearly uncomfortable with my nakedness (you're not even the first this week pal). So I didn't scream, get annoyed, or even kick the cheeky bastard. I just stepped back out of the shower and put my glasses on, turned the light on and looked in. There he was, looking a little sheepish, crouched in the corner.
He wasn't going anywhere, so I fixed him a starey-stare and went to get a cup. I tried to nail the sucker with the cup so I could kick him out. Chuck him off the balcony, or down the stairs. He dodged and hid behind the bath. I sprayed him with the shower head until he was totally hidden, I couldn't even see his legs. At least he was hiding so I figured it was safe to shower, I'll just wait and get him next time.
Next night, ooh, what a surprise, Nathan's back in prime position in the corner. Right, you little sod, I upgraded to a bowl. Still dodged the sucker! Hid behind the bath, out of sight. The night after, the same, the night after, the same; I tried the washing-up bowl on that boy and no dice.

I can't believe this guy, after all the crap he gave Harmonica.

"You know Nathan," I said to him, "I'm kinda mad at you."