Mr. Whitecap-man

I used to pass him each morning on my ride to school. Whenever I was running just a few minutes late we'd pass on the long river-side path. If I was running later he would have already stopped to talk to the woman who walked her dog down that path each morning. On those rare occasion when I was early we'd miss each other. He always wore the same white track-suit and white baseball cap - plain, without insignia.
He would always call out to me, 'Ohayo Gozaimasu!' and I'd return his morning greeting. We had a deal.



I remember lying awake one night before I left to return home. I remember wondering, 'What about Mr. Whitecap-man? Should I tell him I'm leaving? Will he notice I'm gone? I've said hello to him each morning for the last two years, but never stopped to talk - maybe I should say goodbye, that I'm going home.'

I hadn't made up my mind about this particular matter of social etiquette when my last week at school rolled around. I thought maybe if I was feeling friendly that morning I'd just call out 'Sayonara' if I saw him, 'Kaerimasu! - I'm going home'. The weekend before that final week I was hit by a car. I rode the bus that week. I never saw Mr. Whitecap-man again.

It seems to take much longer to notice the things that are missing. For some reason that thought came back to me last night, when I couldn't sleep. I wonder if he ever thinks about Mr. Yellowbike-san when he can't sleep.

25 things

1. When I was little I used to stare at my ceiling-lightbulb and blink rapidly until my whole vision was covered in slowly fading blue purple and brown splotches.

2. On long car journeys I'd pretend there was a boy on a bike/skateboard/hoverboard (after I saw BTTF2) keeping pace with the car skidding along the tops of crash barriers, electric cables and weaving in and out of the traffic.



3. I used to be a music snob. Now I'm just a snob. Thanks Justin Timberlake. But I still don't like techno... or Dido... or Bono. Ok nevermind.

4. I thought feminism had played its course and was no longer relevant until I started hanging out with American broads. (I jest Christine, I jest)



5. I was the shortest kid in my class until I was 18. Consequently I always got picked last for sports even though I wasn't actually that bad... at least that's what I tell myself.

6. For the last 6 years it's been my goal to do a one-arm-handstand. I just started Capoeira and am closer to this goal than I have ever been before. It's quite exciting.



7. The first time I heard Herman Dune play 'It was a good day' I thought it was strange that a hirsute scandinavian was singing 'I didn't even have to use my AK', 'nobody I know got shot in South Central LA' until I was told -in disbelief- that it was an Ice Cube song... who knew?



8. I prefer complicated things that are right, to simple things that aren't quite.



9. In the last week I've been learning grammatical terminology; hands up, who knows what a reflexive-pronoun or a demonstrative-determiner is off the top of their heads?

10. I grew my first beard in 2004 when I went to Vancouver using the excuse that no-one knew what I was supposed to look like. I have shaved it off four times since then, and only used a razor to wet-shave once. It hurt. I'll never be able to grow a handle-bar moustache and this pains me. I grew my hair out for five years, then shaved it all off. The only time I regret this is when I hear any Guns'n'Roses track from Appetite for Destruction.



11. I start every day with a cup of tea.

12. If I could have a cup of tea with anyone alive it'd be Gary Snyder, Alastair Humphreys or Ray Mears. If I could invite dead people I'd ask Jim Henson and Gregory Bateson too.



13. When I was 22 I realised that I'd never consciously read a novel by a black author. Since then I've read twelve - they were all excellent. I highly recommend Chinua Achebe and Ralph Ellison.



14. Coming firmly from the rock-shuffle school, I rarely used my arms to dance in clubs until I was schooled by Bob and the Zu-crew. Since then I like to think my dancing has improved. Luda and Justin do it for me on the dance-floor.

15. Within a month of starting to rock-climb I fell 30 feet from a sea-cliff. If I hadn't been roped off I'd have made a tiny splash far below.



16. I have four scars on my face. The most impressive was from a 1980s model VCR, the other three are from cycling down mountains. If I get one more in just the right place, I'll complete my Harry Potter-style lightning scar on my forehead!

17. When I was hit by a car I screamed a reasonably inoffensive, "Oh my God!" repeating the phrase used by the kids in my English Conversation class. With hindsight I wished I had screamed, "Sharing rhymes with caring!" ... Maybe next time.



18. After cycling from Boston to the Rockies last year I injured my knee and still don't know if I'll ever be able to ride my bike long-distance again. Rubbish.

19. Capes are cool. So are afros. I doubt I'll ever sport either.



20. Shoes are important. Pants are not.

21. If I could, I'd wear shorts and sandals all the time. Wearing socks with sandals is actually incredibly comfortable and practical. I wish more people would do it. As it is I only feel I can get away with it when I'm hiking in remote places. I look forward to being older and caring less. Then I'm going to be delightfully arbitrary in my clothing choices.



22. I think my favourite item of clothing is my bright orange wooly hat. As anyone who crochets understands, "It's only badass if you crochet it yourself."

23. I love the smell of freshly exploded gunpowder. I loved the clouds of smoke on fireworks night when I was little.

24. If I had to be Butch or Sundance, I'd be Sundance. Everyone else I've asked would be Butch.

25. I love milk.